Here are a few more topical monologue jokes from today’s news. Picture me in a tight suit swaying nervously in front of a studio audience. We’re both actually sitting alone under florescent lights, but let’s pretend…
Mackenzie Phillips announced on Opera today that she had a sexual relationship with her father John Phillips, leader of the 60s pop group “The Mamas and the Papas.” She also revealed that it was Mama Cass who prevented John from naming the group “The Papas and Their Sexy Kids.”
Yahoo unveiled a new marketing strategy this week. Updating its stale image, the Internet giant is testing out several new names, including “Yee-Haw!” “Whoopsie Daisy!” and “Heeeeeeeyyyy yoooooouuuuu guuuuuuuuuys!”
A recent study of car crash survivors has revealed that victims are more likely to avoid brain injury if they were drinking prior to the accident. Today, Mothers Against Drunk Driving released the statement, “Come on…really? You’re killin’ us here.”
The findings were vehemently defended by head researcher Dr. Billy Joel.